Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Identity

Well, I'm here in Boston. It's 3 in the morning here, but I'm still wide awake. It's so cool when your unknowns start becoming known.

I think one of the things I struggle with the most is the temptation to try to be someone I'm not. To try to be cool or funny or witty or intelligent or relevant. I think it's the trying that becomes the problem for me. And in a situation like this, where I'm looking for the place where I will fit in, where I will be the right man for the job, I want to hide behind a mask, to try to be someone I'm not.

My prayer in all of this, from the very beginning, is that I will simply be who I am, a man of God saved by the grace of God through my savior, Jesus. I have gifts and abilities that God has graciously given me to steward, and there's a plan and a purpose for my life. I am deeply loved by my Dad in Heaven, and He is making me into the man He wants me to be. As Philippians 1:6 so beautifully puts it, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

As is often the case, another song has hit me hard, this time as I was flying over North Carolina tonight. Andrew Osenga, formally of The Normals and currently of Caedmon's Call, recorded a solo record this last summer and is giving it away for free on his website. This song is a stunner, and I'm posting it so you can be encouraged by it too. The words were exactly what I needed tonight.



Swing Wide the Glimmering Gates
Andrew Osenga

I caught myself looking in the mirror
Wishing I was someone else
I was born with a bleeding heart
and veins of loneliness

And I know it, I’ve seen it, I’ve held it in my arms
But love can’t seem to break me down
And I’ve pleaded, I’ve begged and I’ve bloodied my eyes
Just to feel it, to believe it will stick around

Swing wide the glimmering gates

I told myself the habits and secrets
Were just to get me through, to get me through the nights
But I got lost in a world of angles,
In a city of greys and lies

And I feel it, I taste it, this longing to be free
Oh, the joy of believing like a child
So you, you there listening, will you send up a prayer
for me, to help me find the light

Swing wide the glimmering gates
Leave your pride and pain
Swing wide the glimmering gates
And be innocent again

One day I believe I will open up my eyes
Just to see the good work that was begun
And I’ll be the only things I’ve ever wanted to be
And I’ll know that I belong

Swing wide the glimmering gates
Leave your pride and pain
Swing wide the glimmering gates
And be innocent again

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