Thursday, February 18, 2010

Trading All My Questions and Searching for Sarah Jahn



I heard an old favorite song the other day, and it's been haunting me ever since. Especially this phrase: "I'd trade all these questions for the chance to be healed." Since my posts have been full of questions lately, and since I have to admit I really love questions... this line hit me hard, and I've been pondering it. Is it true for me? Would I give up my questioning for a chance to be healed? Sometimes I think I hang on to my questions... that I am unwilling to let go of them... that I choose questions over answers.

The Apostle Paul says, in I Corinthians 13:32, that now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now we know in part; then we shall know fully, even as we are fully known.

Do I long for the answers? Do I expect answers? Do I really want answers? Or do I just love to wallow in the questions? Just more questions to ponder, I suppose.

I'll stream the song and post the lyrics after I ask another question:



Whatever happened to Sarah Jahn? She is an amazingly talented woman... Her one-and-only record "Sparkle" was the soundtrack to my life when it was first released back in 1998. I saw her live in a coffeehouse setting, and it totally opened up a new world for me in my own songwriting. She introduced me to another artist that has become one of my favorites, Jonatha Brooke. I even thanked her in the credits to my record, "Still Standing."

She dropped off the radar, and we haven't heard from her in over ten years. Google is not much help. What in the world happened to her?

A few years back, on a quest to find out, I formed a Facebook group called "Searching for Sarah Jahn," which now has 81 members on a similar search.

Apparently she came out of hiding to do a concert in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, back in August 2009, but I haven't heard anything else about it. How was it? Did she perform any new music? Is there any video floating around out there?

I guess for now, I'll have to live with these questions. Sarah, if you read this, thank you for the music. And please contact me, or at least leave a comment. If nothing else, I'd like to send you a copy of my CD to thank you for your influence. Or maybe you can do a comeback interview right here on "Faithfully Dangerous." :)

Enjoy the music:



Crucible
Music & Lyrics: Devon Weller
from Sarah Jahn's "Sparkle"
(Buy the CD here. Download from iTunes here.)

Swimming in my self-pity, climbing at the walls
Wondering where I'm going, can I get there at all?
Will I find love there for me, will I find peace?
Will I find anything my heart can keep?

Is it the hurting now or knowing where I've been
That makes me turn away and turn right back again?
Trying to find some meaning in the midst of it all
When will I ever know I've never known at all?

I'd trade all these questions for the chance to be healed.

Building a fire to melt this heart of stone
Where the love that burns the flesh but chills me to the bone
Melting away at the core of all I do
Oh cast my soul in the crucible of you

I'd trade all these questions for the chance to be healed.

Building a fire to melt this heart of stone
Where the love that burns the flesh but chills me to the bone
Melting away at the core of all I do
Oh cast my soul in the crucible of you

10 comments:

Erin K. said...

I've been catching up on a few blogs today that I haven't visited for several weeks/months, including yours. This post caught my attention because Sarah and I went to the same college (Greenville College in Illinois) and her album came out when I was a freshman or sophomore. I met her once, when we happened to be on the same hayride at homecoming. :) I did a quick search on Facebook and discovered that she does have a profile so you could probably send her a message, if you want. Or I noticed that I have several friends in common with her - if I have a chance I'll drop one of them a line and see if they know if she's doing anything musically these days. :)

Also, I'm reading "Acedia and Me," which I found because of your mention a few months back. The book is a little hard to read but I'm plugging through because there have been some key revelations as I've read it. I had never heard of the concept of acedia but when I started the book it was a light bulb went off in my head - I feel like it's something I've struggled with and this book has finally put a name to it, other than "laziness" or "depression" or what-have-you. Anyway, thanks for mentioning it!

~Erin (Helmuth) Kinzel

Anonymous said...

Greetings from South Afica, Cape Town. I too love Sarah s music. She truly is an amazing artist. I thought that I were the only one wondering and longing to hear something of her again. Great to hear there are others out there who feel the same. Wow to have met Sarah...I can only wish and dream. THe lyrics to her song I WANT TO BE HEALED will forever be in my heart. Sarah come back please. ADAM PETERS

HPaton said...

Loved her album profoundly. "Chronic" rattles me to the bottom. Still isten to it.

Jesse Hamm said...

I too enjoyed her work in the '90s and was wondering what she's up to. Her singing has a carefree authenticity that's hard to forget, like Billie Holiday, Patsy Cline, Mama Cass, etc.

Even if she's chosen a life/career away from music, I hope at some point she'll carve out some free time to record more songs, maybe put them online or something.

jaysenpluto said...

Sarah's album reached my ears while sampling music in a Christian bookstore in 1997. They were out and I had to have them special order it and beg my mom to drive me back. It helped me during a difficult time transitioning in high school. It was so different than anything else at the time, dark and hopeful, lyrically poetic with a melancholic beauty.

Hope she sees this! Thanks for putting the call out Matt.

driver said...

I have also wondered what happened to this very talented singer. I just happened to be driving into St. Louis the day The Point released the CD & they played her song-I was hooked. I was able to find a store & pick up the CD-no small feat driving a tractor-trailer.

Anyway, in addition to the powerful writing & message in the Sparkle CD, I have used it to audition every piece of high end audio gear since! [I have a completely rebuilt amp I'm hooking up this weekend & will play Sparkle as a test (and listen to, of course!)].

About 12-13 years ago I began to run sound again, but this time for my church, so I'm sure when I say Sarah could have gone quite far putting out music & making lots of money, which God could use!

Anonymous said...

Out of all the Christian music I used to listen to, I still enjoy her.

Unknown said...

She's from Wood River Illinois. I knew the family 20 years ago when I was in high school. I was just going through all of what I consider my local music CDs and found this. I had the pleasure of playing one single gig with her.

..... bassist said...

She's from Wood River Illinois. I knew the family 20 years ago when I was in high school. I was just going through all of what I consider my local music CDs and found this. I had the pleasure of playing one single gig with her.

Paul Leach said...

I know Sarah. From what I remember, when her album came out, her record company was going through a large transition which took all their attention and resources and unfortunately, that meant, timing wise, the artists who happened to have albums released then, fell through the cracks.

Sarah was a superstar at school. She always had a buzz around her which may have been elevated by the fact that she was so shy.

The undeserved under-performance of her album because of timing in some ways i think was a relief for her since she carried such great expectation for a few years, plus the trying to mold her into some cover girl when she was comfortable in baggy flannels. (Again, she was shy)

From what i see on FB, it looks like she's settled into domestic life in the mid west. I shot her a message today to see if she's still writing and singing. I hope so.

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